Of the Movie Manor

When last we wrote, your faithful correspondents were zipping through the San Luis Valley, racing against the setting sun to find a place to camp. Sadly, our target was out of reach, and after several nights of dehydrated food and a quick face-washing in a sink at the trailhead we decided that splurging on a hotel wouldn't be a bad idea. We pulled into Monte Vista, greeted by a sign for the "Best Western Movie Manor." Not seeing many other options, we decided to follow the billboard's guidance and follow the road out of town. There are surely any number of reasons one might call one's Best Western hotel the "Movie Manor," especially in a world capital of cinema like Monte Vista, Colorado. As we neared the Movie Manor, and the looming screens next to it, our happiest suspicions were confirmed: This is a motel specially designed so that you can watch the feature at the adjacent drive-in from the comfort of your queen-sized bed, or two singles, as you may prefer, based on availability. We chose a room with a view of "The Simpsons Movie" (as opposed to a film version of "Hairspray"... the pickings were slim), ordered a pizza, and hunkered down.

The whole movie theme was done to the hilt. The door to each room had a nameplate bearing the name of a mid-80's celebrity, so a guest could pretend they were actually spending the night in Tom Selleck's dressing room, if one so desired. The framed print above the bed was a classic Renoir scene re-styled so that Marylin Monroe, James Dean, Elvis, Laurel and Hardy, Judy Garland, and, for some reason, Frankenstein's Monster were together enjoying a summer party along the banks of the Seine. The crowning achievement was the driveway and sidewalk in front of the lobby, which, in a tribute to Graumann's Chinese Theater, had celebrity names written into wet cement for all time. Among the celebrities who had supposedly graced the locale were: Marilyn Monroe, Brad Pitt, Angilina Jolie (sic), Robert Denero (sic), Lionardo Decapprio (also sic), Tom Cruse (also also sic), Mickey Mouse, Nemo, Buggs Bunny (again, sic) etc. (Note from fact-checking department: Your correspondent was actually derelict in writing down and preserving the many interestingly spelled names, and is reciting these from memory. But they were bad.)


In any case, we flipped the in-room switch to "Movie: ON" and listened to the movie magic of a 90-minute episode of the Simpsons, which we could (mostly) see on the distant drive-in screen. We are absolutely in love with the Best Western Movie Manor. The whole Holla staff is trying to find an excuse for a return trip to Monte Vista, Colorado for no other reason than the Best Western Movie Manor. But next time, we may choose a movie that isn't a feature-length version of a TV show that we could have watched more easily on the standard hotel TV.