Thursday, February 16, 2006

State Department as Contraceptive

Far harder than adjusting to living in a foreign culture and the constant violence and the different language is the true challenge of the Foreign Service for your correspondant: Dealing with the fact that there are only so many Americans with whom to socialize and that most of them have toddlers. Apparently Guatemala has an excellent International School, and so many of those burdened by children are eager to come here. We try to adjust by doing adult-style entertaining -- dinner parties and the like -- and we have people cancel on us because the sitter didn't show up. Why go abroad if you're going to be stuck staying at home with the rugrats every night? You could do that in Poughkeepsie! Perhaps our next maneuver will be accompanying some toddler-laden colleagues on a trip to Guatemala's version of Disneyland, which the kids will enjoy, and we will find hilarious once appropriately liquored up.

5 comments:

Monkey McWearingChaps said...

It's like being Indian! Corralling squalling gaggles of desi bratz in my basement during Saturday Indian parties growing up did more to stymie sexual experimentation than anything they taught us in Health Class.

Really, I think teen pregnancies would drop like a motherfuck if we just let everyone in on third world living once in a while.

Ma & Pa Stokes said...

Huh. ... Wrong generation, I guess. 'Nuf said.

Matt said...

Aw, man, my Grandma reads this thing!

Monkey McWearingChaps said...

Sorry, I'll tone it down.

EEK! said...

I spent a long weekend with a very chatty 5-year-old. She was OK, though I did have to pull a "do you know what time it is?" when she turned the volume up to 11 at 8 am. Then I spent a day with high schoolers and wanted to just flee. I don't know how people keep teenagers around the house.